Top 10 funny performances Got Talent
This Is a Fairy Tale of love thank you This is the Story about love When a guy needs a Girl in a bar he see the girl All he wants to say He's a Great Big hello? She looked Lovely the dress that Night she Was wearing Was She wasn't looking at It so he showed her his best dance mouse Freedom One Drink What you want Fair Enough The guy in Says I'm Sorry i've Got a little Toilet don't go he says please don't go The Game comes back Hey When i come back to my place Rat Copy the guy Says Hey The Guy Got the girl and Now they be together for 45 Years Is that Mary tale table thank you for watching oh? This is my Good Friend Pissarro It's a Brazilian Word It means Bird Bird Bird Bird They Call me Third Bird Third Mutant look At her Miss Miss french See The Vixen of Diddly It's Actually Vicar of Dibley You'd Pray for What you want all three four dogs Funny Who the hell is that That's Kyle He's Ugly That's enough You don't That Was a Matter of Time You don't tell Him he's ugly huh you don't do That apologize telling You Sorry I'm sorry You're Ugly no i apologize Kyle I'm sorry I love you in this French Talk to her properly engage her in conversation How old are you, no, no no You don't ask a Lady her age What year You thought no i Love You i know you love us stop Saying It i Love you All right That's enough That's enough i gonna sing to her there's no song we're not doing a song hit the music I will always love sure yes Always All right a moment to be here yes all right i don't Mean Be here i mean Just yes What's your name My Name's Graham Well Well Do You want me full name i'll Get People They my full name is Mark or Graham Blackledge But Everybody Calls me graeme In fact i didn't even know i called Michael so is about 11 because no And Then It took me a year to figure out. How to spell it because it's it's an Awkward When i am You're Very Likable Very okay Michael What are you gonna do what Am i going to do I'm going to play the organ and then i'm gonna Play and sing Whilst Playing the Organ so the organ Playing is What You'd like? To be doing a Full time The Organ Playing yes yeah i Play the Organ Yeah Will You Play the Organ fish Now please yeah good Good Luck Do you Say Go or do i Just AnyWay Every not Oh sorry That Was Horrific oh? Because you you were smiling at us in this Weird Way the Whole Way through i can cut the smile can I Hear you singing and Playing the organ Together but Without The Weird smiling We are going smile so i Just carry on from where i left off Sangram Singing Stop coming Up More Listening to you talk Than i do listening to you Play If I'm being Honest but when you had she started Doing Bad but i quite enjoyed you in some Weird Way It was hideous It's like eating Vanilla Ice Cream With the sausage They co go together Vanilla and Sausage Have You ever thought Just Doing stand-Up Comedy Um i've i thought about doing stand-Up comedy yes you we're talking Okay i'm gonna Kick this off with a note alicia There's something about You that i absolutely love i'm going to Say yes Williams You are a Very Funny Man An ellipse the king to me the tape David Yes or no You Know what i'd love to see you again it's a Year I have to get three? Right okay could We Have the name of the actress Just James and ed okay right What's the act I'm a ventriloquist for the day okay and do You think you can win of Course i come really well we're gonna give It a Good shot Looking okay all right Best of Luck All right Then Guys I'm a Little Bit Nervous about introducing You to ed because he speaks a bit too much It gets me in a bit of Trouble But i want you to be nice to him because he's Only 12 Years old and he's Been Under my bed in a box For The last three Months Gathering Dust I. Read oh Wave you taking me James who these People i told You this morning we're Auditioning Oh i see there's alesha dixon we're on street he comes dancing I Told You This Morning Simon cowell Butch But That's so So so so scandalous Hey stop messing about come on We Need to be on with our rats we'll Get Buzzed off okay Who's that on the end David Walliams You Know David Walliams he swam to turn two did the china all Spots relief David Williams Not Williams Williams is like The Greatest comic Genius of our Time No Do you know anything come fly with me Well That coffee Without cost Without Sugar We Got Sweetener We Got Guts to make a Hot Hot fire But The Lord decided Today Would Be The day When we'd have no Water so we've got. No choice but.To close the shop So you do Know he is there appears There's no Who's that there Baywatch Baby Boobs are you Saying That we're in the same Room From Cheaper By The Dozen - Why didn't you Say Who's the funny-Looking one on the end That's Simon Cowell Everyone Knows Simon Cowell He's like The King of England he wears his trousers Up to here If it What's his talent James What's his talent oh Does he clean Up Does he clean Up What Does it wash Up Does he wash or Does he Brush off no, he doesn't brush Up so you're telling me that he Does nothing The boy Does nothing I don't want to go in the back get back any bomb but don't let Go in the box this is rod call me bubbles Everybody died Wasn't Supposed to happen Wasn't Supposed to be as Good as It Was David It Was Annoyingly Really Perfect Yeah It Was Annoyingly Good i wasn't Expecting that at All at Your iMpression for Very Very Good David i Say Yes 100% yes yes you go for Yeses And for My Second song i'd like to I met This Girl She's Just Great This girl i Just adore The Problem is she has Much more Than i had Bargained for She's Got that style She's Got that smile She's Got the walk She's Got The Tuck She's Got That Zing There's Just one Thing She's Got a Penis She's Got That flame that Was Watch away That Girlish Great Speed it's Got Pizzazz too Bad she has a Penis It's always Some failure always some flaw ain't that What they Call? Murphy's law But male Genitalia That's where i draw the line Besides Hers is bigger Than mine Cuz under That Dress She's Got a P and is yes Thank you Very Much So you wrote the song is that right yes Didn't. Happen to you Is this a true Story and you Turn it into a song well actually something like That Happened to a friend of mine? Oh, oh i know those friend of mine Things But This is true Actually You Have no idea What you Just did in my house my Children? Are all sitting in the audience and They all Will Be singing that song Later on Tomorrow? Very Catchy Tunes i tell them to catch It i like to write Catchy Tunes They don't write on like that anymore Crow tell You something you know i'm really Thinking you're a Breath of fresh air This Is one of Those acts that are a waste of time i was gonna buzz him this and then All of a Sudden you Kicked in with that Brilliant Lyric and and you know What Good for you you know A year 84 Year old guy you think 84 Year old Guys Have lost Their sense of humor You've Got It in spades Earlier Age absolute Melby Ray You are a Naughty Funny dirty Thank you Dear and i loved it baby Laughs Thank you we Need more Laughter how're you up on your feet i love it i'll tell You something you're Funny and Witty and personable and i Just i can't see enough of you i love you mr. Jesse yes yeah Ram how many of You Perry yes Good Evening he Doing Why oh? You Brought oh it's Bringing right Sorry i couldn't Find a Babysitter Now that you've done Sorry Be right with you Mira That's not a Mirror That's how we Know so listen You go to sleep Now Time for The Story okay okay all right I'm Really Sorry if i tell You a quick Story You promise me you go to sleep straight Away this is the story of Little Red Riding Hood i heard She was walking through The Woods on the way to her Granny's house When all of a Sudden Out Jumped a Big Bad wolf well Yes a Nasty One With Bigger With It yeah i don't like it no but it's part of the story oh? But It has to be like okay All Right Okay i'll change it What What You'll me to change it to Duck The Thing is with the story It won't Work as a Story if It's a Duck Duck okay Okay It wasn't a big bad wolf yeah it was a Big Bad Duck Little Red Riding Hood Was Really Frightened well Because She wouldn't be Frightened of a Fluffy Yellow Duck WouLd she know hence you've done it again in my Story Doesn't Work you Keep Doing this to my story you keep Making me put ducks in them They don't Work Your stories When they were ducks in them What about Yesterday's Goldilocks and the three ducks Snow White and the Seven Duck Why do you Keep Saying Duck yeah This is fun for the Whole Family's a Big Family Show and you're a Big Family act How many of The puppies have you got i have i have a couple more There's more to me than What You've seen so far? Right oh She wants to see your puppet Well i Just think that Your material is really Really Clever and you do Make us believe Like They're real They're Really Two People on the stage Very Very good you know you're a Cartoon come to life i felt like i Was watching a Great? Cartoon You and This Baby and This dialogue Is so fabulous You're gonna be a main contender i mean i don't think There's anyone sitting in this Room right Now who doesn't believe It Was Wonderfully Orchestrated That Joke-Telling Was Great He's made a Grown Man Feel like he was a Kid and i Just felt Myself Just Laughing and I felt Joy and i want that Feeling and i want Everybody to feel that Feeling of Joy so i love comedy and i love you so Compliment Marlon on his choice Because i feel like we've Got a Great guy in you That's such a Talent What a Gift you have? Going straight Through The Radio City Music Hall Thank you Very much Yeah Careful You're gonna lose My Voices oh i got the loyal car After Hot We Got The Wild Card What's It going to do you make you talk i made you the finest Listen Hmm i'm a Ventriloquist What'S that Right There Chickadee Trying to the tiny Chicken Yeah the dough sticking nobody taught Sing to get away to annoy to go He's a Little Weird You Know Now a Hypnotist puts People to Sleep So you Missed the manda this week yeah i didn't think i was gonna see you again des you know what she didn't call on? Me this Week awesome and i've Been Calling you? Hd Pcs that Because we're on television and you're in high definition Nervous cuz on the hot done Trust me Simon oh not you i thought i'd sent you home Finish My act yet You see you're a Sensation with the ladies all Over the World yes i am Just tell me can You Let me in on your little secret where i speak different languages Really can You Speak spanish can You know how am i going to do it then I'm gonna count to ten in english and then You translate okay let's see what you got One uno two dos Three hang on What this isn't going to work No, no you're gonna count. To.
Ten yes. How do i know when you get to six Is this going to hurt Shut up louie That's not me Looks Just Like Him Already Hello sunita Listen to me yes you two always Together mask as We Go together so well We Go together Together The dog and It's a Big practice Whenever You're Ready Hey you can Say Good evening you speak english It's my knife come on hey Say something Know What why not it's fantastic come on it's a present see durch yes no, no listen in english See Spanish We Saw Say okay Hey Wendy listen to me you think i am stupid yes So well you don't want. To speak anymore no okay and now oh yes i want you Know you know how to sing know what yes yes yes well we'll Listen to you It's about wow and you understand Music Plays we're gonna sing something for you all right okay don't look at me look at the audience the exact Feelings come on nothing Marcy Trying to fuck All Together okay no please come on you Say it's Pretty Thing Good talent okay auto Get That Feeling Amazing What's her name Wendy Try and Try and Listen When the Dunya yeah i'm emotional He's Waited a long time for this moment? For Nine Years Simon Has Said he wanted a dog That could meow or sing and your dog did both Those Things Wow i don't know how she does that how you taught her to do it but it was incredible oh? Thank you so much How does she know the words She's Very Clever It's an incredible actor Not One we're never gonna Forget Fantastic Really something Special Right David Well This Is a Very easy yes yes for me yes for me You've Got four big fat yes Sorry Bit Nervous I'm Phil W Green and i'm 21 and i'm gonna be doing comedy Impressions Fella do Do This Full Time No i don't know what do you do i work at Body Shop at the moment as a customer Consultant But Your dream is to be a big yes i'd love to be on stage did you Bring Anyone with you sir Yeah my friend christie she Work her body felt she did about She's Recently Left Why because she found a Better Job Where she Now works at Barrett's I hope he's good after all of This okay willow Philip You've Got Roughly two Minutes Let's do it okay Hello i'm Danny Pastor day And Today we're going to be help Working Out so everyone put Your Hands out in front of you Spread YouR legs and do some squats Diana Baby Martin Fowler so far Isn't It right dog Part Wimpy power Winching Whoa it's so nice to be here oh man We sure and Today's guest is absolutely Fantastic you know what i'm gonna meet her hello oh Thanks for Having me Charlotte Recently oh my god i mean oh? My Goodness have you Seen the bacteria and here is awful oh? It's me The Point is think about your actors that You are Just Laughing before You even did anything Thanks Davis You'Re Like a Butch version of me you're Very Very Funny guy i'd like to see some more of you in the act as well because You are hysterically Funny as you as Well Are you sure you're not related to stacey solomon i wish i was thank you i've seen her from a distance and i was Really Funny It Was like The World Record for How many Impersonations you can do in two Minutes i found it difficult to keep Up with some of them the ones That Works were great thanks But You are a Naturally Funny guy thanks Slightly Bonkers but i like That I'm gonna take a Boat maybe jason I'M gonna Say yes yes for me And We Have Actually had some Good impressionists on the show this year? So you have Got some competition but i am going to Say oh Thank you Very Much Need how many of You here tonight are ready to Enter the land of make-Believe Looks Like How he's already in the land of make-Believe Which Makes You the perfect person to Join me Up here on stage Would you mind let's Hear It for howie Mandel Everyone yes thank you in your own time howie i understand you're allergic The Longer is longer You take The Shorter my acti quayle's and have a Seat There howie tonight live from Radio City? You are going to become a Human Ventriloquist Dummy okay Now all you have to do All you have to do is keep looking Out there all right Let me do all the talking okay and i've Got to say That's? A Pretty Good fit By The way this is charlie are you okay charlie yes thank you first of All We Got to find you a Voice i mean It Matches your physical appearance something butch something macho are you okay Well It Shots me It Shocked me i was only Joking I'M going to change the voice no, no i like it Okay i want to say no to my fans you want To say Hello to this Lot Just Turn to people on the right give Him a Big Wave Say Hello Hello Nicely done Now The People on the left say hi to them And Now the People write up a talking my big sexy hello hello did you see them waving back yeah Idiots Now Stop Touching me What Get away What start Touching me what do you Mean I'm not touching Get away okay alright alright is that far enough Perfect Hey how are you doing That I've Got a little controller in my hand Here oh wow That's amazing She's Got a controller Hidden control me yes That's right oh? Now we can have some fun i Get one of Their Judge no i want to be an act you want To be an actress you go and Judge me You want me to Judge you yes go and Sit in my seat i can't Sit in your seat no no i insist Well if you insist Hello fellow Judges It's great to be here okay so i can't believe i'm a Judge on america's Got Talent so What's your name Well My name is Um my name Um sorry i get Nervous don't worry Take your time My name Is Harry Hello Good evening how and What are you gonna do for us tonight tonight i want to do my dancing Look you you don't have to know now i really want to okay so do you have some moves you like to show us yes stand Up first of all Okay first of all i'd like to stretch i'm gonna do some stretching i'll Just stretch my arms Like This and My Legs Like Moos okay so now i took this this okay what are you gonna do i'm gonna show you my twerking so i Turn Around i Turn Around I Put My Hands on the seat and i wiggle like That Is that it oh yes hang on let me Turn Around again Yes okay so that Was fantastic Don't make me laugh though i can't make you talk and i love So what are you gonna do for your performance This evening Tonight I'M gonna Do some irish dancing Really Naked i I really don't think this is the chauffeur so well When you're ready the stage is Yours awesome Job Everyone standing on Their Feet here in radio City.
Lovely to see you again! Nice to see you too! OK, remind everybody of your name. My name is Gatis Kandis. D'you know, this is the only comedian I've ever found funny. Well, look Gatis.
STEVE: ALL RIGHT. YOU READY? DEBBIE: I'M READY, STEVE, I'M. READY. STEVE: 20 SECONDS ON THE CLOCK, PLEASE.
You've got no stock quality about you
You Huh? Good evening. What's your name? My name is Steven holl Steven home h a double L. Thank you for clarifying that How old are you steven? I'm 53 and um what's your job I would telecommunications engineer Do you think that what you're gonna? Do for us is suitable for the royal variety I do indeed. Yes, okay? You've got two minutes to possibly change the rest of your life.