Overly Excited Tourist Searches For Lobster in Providence

- Hey, honey! I'm in Providence, Rhode Island, right where I was born as a baby. Let's go see if we can find a lobster, and have a good time. (Dramatic music) Holy snopes, I'm at Brown University. It's mostly white people,
but I'm no snitch.

Sorry professor, I can't take your exam because my Pembroke. (Laughs) Holy snopes, look at the size of this dog. They say he's 100 feet tall, and he weighs about what you would think. You jokin' my ass? They got Kentucky Fried Chicken.

They got a Kentucky Fried Tea. They got a Carlos Santander. Only in parliament, Rhode Island. I must be in a rich parta town, they got a friggin' children's bank.

Insomnia Cookies, are you jokin' my ass? How about just chocolate chip. Holy snopes, the parvertigence river. They say it's 100 feet deep, and it smells like my friend Jeff's ass. Look, look! (Laughs) Fun church, fun church! Get your business outta my ass, they have a real life gingerbread house.

Only in rogue hymen! Dunk! Will you please get outta my ass? I am in front of the
Rhode Island steakhouse. They say it's 100 feet across, and it takes up half of the state. Look at the size of this bell. (Soft bell clanging) It's broken.

Holy frickin' snopes, I'm
in the State Reception Room. Are you jokin' my ass? The heck is this, a receipt from CVS? Holy ass, it's the Trinity
respiratory company. I was in a play here when I was young, and then I got beat up for bein' a homo. Are you freakin' jokin' my ass? It's the Superman building.

Tallest building in all of Rhode Island. They say it's 100 feet
tall, and is made of ham. Holy Jesus ass, would you look at the size
of that friggin' bird? They say he's 100 feet tall,
and he's embarrassed about it. Rome Ireland, you freakin' rock! Welp, I never did have any lobster to eat, but we still had a pretty good day here in parliament, Rich Eisen.

It even was the best day of my whole life. (Techno music).

Labels: EXCITED

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