Overly Excited Tourist Goes Wild In San Francisco

- Hi Honey, I am in Sandwich
Fransandwich, California. Home of the Rice-a-Roni. Let's go escape from Alcatraz
and have a good time. (Bell ringing) (bridge exploding) Get inside my ass and start decorating, it is a World War II submarine.

I like it, but it probably
gets, I probably think, it's probably, it probably gets all wet. Some lady just gave me this cool sticker. She must've thought I was
Brad Cooper or some crap. Holy snopes, would you look at
all these beautiful dolphins.

Well they're so pretty
they give my life porpoise! Toly Crobus, there it is. Calamatraz Island itself. They say 100 prisoners escaped
into the frigid waters, and they didn't even have pool noodles. Yeah, I guess Santo
Francesca's pretty cool.

Except that it has crabs. (Upbeat dance music) Whoa Don Cheadle's chicken pox, they got a danosaur made of bread! Are you joking my ass? There it is. The famous Great Golden Bridge. They say its 100 feet long,
and I would wait for the fog to clear but I kinda want to go home.

Bitch. Whoa baby boy, Hopper's Hands. People come from all
over the world to give this sign a high times. High times! High times! Holy snopes, who built this road, some sort of a nasty bad snake? Terrible infrastructure.

This San Francisco bartender
made me a dirty martini. So I had to go to the martini cleaners! So no one told your lice that
they should feel ashamed. I'm at the Full Houses houses. Hey Uncle Joe, knock it off.

Are you joking my ass, they got
some sort of an urban slide. You bet your ass I'm gonna try it. (Screaming) I wasn't even scared. Whoa baby boy, what I day
I've had in Santo Fellatio.

I never did get any Rice-a-Roni, but I filled up on yummy memories. It even was the best day of my whole life. (Dance music).